March often feels like a beginning.
Not in the loud, “new year, new you” way — but in a quieter sense that something is shifting. Softening. Re-emerging.
I have been feeling this deeply in my own life. This past season, stepping into being a mother of three, has been a season of creation in its most intimate form. Now, as Spring emerges, I sense a gentle shift within myself — a turning outward, toward creating again through words, ideas, and connection.
That subtle, internal feeling towards intentional growth — not by forcing momentum, but by making space — is exactly what we’re exploring right now in our new chapter of Selves Unedited. My colleague Dr. Danielle Colborn and I dive into a simple but powerful question:
What do you want to make room for in your life right now?
Because growth isn’t only about adding more.
Sometimes it’s about clearing space.
The Mental Space We Don’t Realize We’re Losing
Many of the people we work with — especially those struggling with high achievement, body image and/or eating concerns, or perfectionism — describe a kind of cognitive exhaustion.
So much mental energy goes toward:
What am I going to eat?
How do I look?
What are they thinking about me?
Did I say the wrong thing?
Am I falling behind?
Is this/am I good enough
It can feel normal because it’s familiar.
But over time, this constant internal monitoring shrinks your life. It crowds out creativity. Presence. Spontaneity. Connection.
When your attention is captured by self-criticism or control, there’s very little room left for joy.
The Illusion of Control
Often, these patterns begin as protection.
Preoccupation with food or weight can feel like:
Structure
Safety
Certainty
A way to manage anxiety
Perfectionism can feel like discipline.
Self-criticism can feel like motivation.
Avoidance can feel like self-preservation.
But over time, what once felt protective becomes restrictive.
Fear begins to dictate your choices.
You stay small.
You avoid risk.
You don’t apply, create, initiate, or speak up — just in case.
Fear Shrinks. Healing Expands.
In this episode, we talk about how fear often arises to protect us from rejection, judgment, or failure.
But meaningful living almost always requires tolerating some discomfort.
Going after your dream.
Having the hard conversation.
Letting yourself be seen.
Healing isn’t about achieving the perfect mindset before you begin.
It’s about creating space.
More space between you and the thought.
More space between fear and your behavior.
More space for your values to lead.
A Different Question
Instead of asking:
“How do I fix myself?”
Try asking:
What do I want more of?
More connection?
More creativity?
More ease?
More honesty?
More rest?
And then gently ask:
What is currently taking up the space that could belong to those things?
Listen to the Episode
In this season opener of Selves Unedited, we explore:
Body image and cognitive overload
Perfectionism and fear of judgment
The psychology of control
ACT-informed perspectives on values-based living
Healing as expansion, not self-improvement
We hope you’ll listen and join our conversation.
You can listen here on Apple Podcasts:
And here on Spotify:
Growth isn’t about becoming someone new.
It may be about clearing enough space to return to who you’ve always been — underneath the noise.
New Format
This season, we’re trying something new! Instead of monthly episodes, we’ll release a longer deep dive into a major topic each month, accompanied by weekly episodes designed as guideposts to help us stay connected to what matters most to us, week by week. Let us know what you think!
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Thank you for being part of this community — it means more than you know.